Parenting a Four-Year Old Daughter
My lovely daughter continues to amaze, stupify, and challenge me. Within the last couple of weeks she has said the following things: "Daddy, why is Grady (a 30 something friend of mine) not married?" "Daddy, how come you can't stop gravity?" "Daddy, you always act like a big kid." How is a daddy supposed to respond to these questions? I don't know that I am faring well. To the first question I responded, "I don't know." To the second question I answered, "Well, you can stop gravity if you catch whatever is falling." Maybe, that is an appropriate response for a 4 year old. I wanted to reply, "I don't know, I'm not much of a science guy. You would have to ask Steve (Wife's godfather) or Mr. Pete." But, I feel like I have to conjure up something, you know? To the last statement, that I am always acting like a big kid, I wasn't sure if I should take that as a compliment or as an indictment. I continue to realize that I have my hands full with this little ball of wonder.
I have lost patience with her on several occasions lately and have raised my voice (O.K., I probably yelled a little bit). She responded with tears, anger, and sadness. After she calmed down she said, "Daddy, I don't want you to ever yell at me again." I didn't know what to say. Then she said, "Daddy, tell me that you will never yell at me again." I couldn't tell her that I wouldn't, but I said that I would certainly try hard not to. This parenting thing, as joyous as it is, is certainly not easy. I am ecstatic that she has this sense of confidence and an intuitive sense that yelling is not the appropriate way to handle difficult situations. I hate that I revert back to learned behaviors that I know are unhealthy and counter-productive. How do I change what I know needs to be changed? I hope that I can communicate to this little love of mine that sometimes I do things that aren't right, but deep down I long to do the right thing. I hope that I can show her how to forgive and reconcile. I hope that she can handle the fact that humankind, including daddy who is god-like in her eyes, is really prone to weakness and error. I hope that she can accept this and not resent me and my weaknesses as she grows older. Do I have what it takes to convey these important values? Do I have what it takes to be the daddy that I long to be? I think I do, I hope I do. Lord, help me and grant me grace.
My lovely daughter continues to amaze, stupify, and challenge me. Within the last couple of weeks she has said the following things: "Daddy, why is Grady (a 30 something friend of mine) not married?" "Daddy, how come you can't stop gravity?" "Daddy, you always act like a big kid." How is a daddy supposed to respond to these questions? I don't know that I am faring well. To the first question I responded, "I don't know." To the second question I answered, "Well, you can stop gravity if you catch whatever is falling." Maybe, that is an appropriate response for a 4 year old. I wanted to reply, "I don't know, I'm not much of a science guy. You would have to ask Steve (Wife's godfather) or Mr. Pete." But, I feel like I have to conjure up something, you know? To the last statement, that I am always acting like a big kid, I wasn't sure if I should take that as a compliment or as an indictment. I continue to realize that I have my hands full with this little ball of wonder.
I have lost patience with her on several occasions lately and have raised my voice (O.K., I probably yelled a little bit). She responded with tears, anger, and sadness. After she calmed down she said, "Daddy, I don't want you to ever yell at me again." I didn't know what to say. Then she said, "Daddy, tell me that you will never yell at me again." I couldn't tell her that I wouldn't, but I said that I would certainly try hard not to. This parenting thing, as joyous as it is, is certainly not easy. I am ecstatic that she has this sense of confidence and an intuitive sense that yelling is not the appropriate way to handle difficult situations. I hate that I revert back to learned behaviors that I know are unhealthy and counter-productive. How do I change what I know needs to be changed? I hope that I can communicate to this little love of mine that sometimes I do things that aren't right, but deep down I long to do the right thing. I hope that I can show her how to forgive and reconcile. I hope that she can handle the fact that humankind, including daddy who is god-like in her eyes, is really prone to weakness and error. I hope that she can accept this and not resent me and my weaknesses as she grows older. Do I have what it takes to convey these important values? Do I have what it takes to be the daddy that I long to be? I think I do, I hope I do. Lord, help me and grant me grace.
posted by Ryan @ 4:15 PM
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