All of the Jobs I Have Ever Had

Occupation.............Age.......Duties

Babysitting..............12-14....Eat food and watch T.V.
McDonald's............14-15.....Throw cheese on the roofs of cars as they
..........................................come thru drive-thru
Hechinger's ..............15.......Load heavy bags of cement into cars hoping
..........................................to get tips
Outback ..................16 ......Cut potatoes while looking at hot waitresses
Flooring Company......17-19......Learn bad words in Farsi and smash walls
..........................................with a forklift
College Workstudy....19.......Do little for little
Telemarketing ..........20.......Get hung up on and quit after an hour
Domino's Pizza ........20.......Run my boxcar 87 Maxima into the ground
Burger King...............21.......Moved and was only job I could find
Wendy's ..................21.......Simultaneously w/ B.K, now I was raking it in
Hardees ..................21.......Was closer to apartment than Burger King
..........................................and thought that would be awesome to
..........................................have worked the "Fantastic Four"
Local Restaurant ..............22-23 ....Wait tables, watch people drink, and find
..........................................Jesus (he was lost)
Construction...........23 ........Learn that beer is something one can live for.
Food Lion ................23.......Why not check out the grocery store industry?
..........................................(Loading beer on the back of pick-ups
..........................................scientifically proven to raise intellect).
K.C. School............24.........Clean toilets, cafeteria (Blue-Collar
..........................................quadfecta now complete- restaurant, grocery,
..........................................janitorial, construction)
Cafeteria .....24-28.....Learned that there is no difference between
..........................................this and a nursing home and that purple hair
..........................................is cool when you're old.

Would probably be a good time to point out that it was here that I finally finished school.

Wholsale Furniture.....28-31......Sell, load trucks, pretend to like
...........................................merchandise, hate owner, sell, learn that the
...........................................customer is not always right.

Teacher...............32-?......... See job from age 14, just add paperwork.
...........................................Learn that parents are the anti-christ.